Judgement Day?

(A knock at the door)

A: Who is it?

(The door slams open)

God: It is I! The Lord your God!

A: Oh, jeez. Did you invite him?

B: No. And today isn’t the sabbath.

A: Then what is he doing here?

God: Silence! You displease me!

A: Uh, oh. I think it’s judgement day.

B: Damn. And I forgot to atone for my sins.

A: Me too.

God: Kneel!

A+B: Yes, Lord!

A: Did we sign up for this?

B: You’re the one who picked one of the vengeful religions! We could have signed up for Buddhism!

A: Must you always blame everything on me?

God: Silence! Today is Judgement Day! You two shall stand trial!

A+B: For what Lord!

God: For the sins of your kind!

A: Oh, damn. We’re boned.

B: To say nothing of deafened. Oh Lord! Can we please have a lawyer!

God: I am merciful!

(A thunderclap. Jesus appears.)

A: Uh, I was hoping for someone from the Old testament.

B: Someone who had a real kingdom, maybe?

A: Like wise King Solomon?

God: Silence!

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