Confession

My personality has two sides — a spiritual side and a rational side. They are often in creative conflict: they represent the yin and yang of my soul.

In discourse and conversation, my rational side usually dominates. But when I wish to be creative, or when I contemplate the absurdities of existence, it is my spiritual side from which I draw inspiration and hope.

Some may consider me Christian, although I don’t believe in the core tenets of the Christian faith, namely, that Jesus is the means by which we come to know God. Some may consider me an atheist, because my rationality and my Socratic dialectic compel me to seek proof and evidence.

I cannot assent to the claim “God exists;” but neither can I assent to its negation “There is no God.” Because I am a finite primate, a Homo sapien who will die — I believe in no afterlife — I consider it the height of hubris to make any claims about the existence or non-existence of a transcendent reality.

I believe that God is an idea: one that lives and breathes in the realm of the mind. But this idea animates me, inspires me, and teaches me.

Can an atheist be inspired by God?

So what am I? First and foremost I am a critical thinker who regards inquiry and analysis as the best means to discover and learn about the cosmos. But my longing for transcendence and mystery has led me to embrace Taoism, a non-theistic spiritual philosophy.

But if God is only an idea — only? as if ideas are not themselves as unto god! — and if the cosmos is ultimately without meaning or purpose, then I feel it is our duty to fill it with meaning and purpose.

Why?

Maybe because I’m a primate of faith.

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