Lackey: Bishop of Rome! Vicar of Jesus Christ! Prince of the Apostles, and Primate of Italy! The Cardinal needs an audience.
Pope: Give me 10 minutes. I’m not done with this altar boy yet.
. . .
Pope: Ahh. That’s better. Send in the Cardinal.
Cardinal: Supreme Pontiff of the Universal Church! Pederast in Chief! I have ill tidings!
Pope: Cut the crap. Do we have another sex scandal to cover up?
Cardinal: Worse, I’m afraid. The people of the world have finally learned that knowledge is preferable to ignorance.
Pope: What? Impossible. Where could they have learned such a heretical lie?
Cardinal: We’re not sure yet. It has something to do with some pagan idea of the Earth Mother.
Pope: Oh. It’s just some New Age bullshit then. I wouldn’t worry about it. We killed the sacred feminine long ago . . .
Cardinal: The people, it seems, have resurrected the idea. Along with the idea of Christ.
Pope: Wait. Christ was resurrected, and I wasn’t informed?
Cardinal: I didn’t say that Christ was resurrected, Supreme Pederast, I said the “idea” of Christ has been resurrected. And linked to the concept of love, which has been linked to the concept of wisdom, which has been opposed to the concept of ignorance which has been linked to the concept of Satan.
Pope: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What’s all this about concepts. You think I’m interested in Philosophy and education? How could I afford this much bling on a teacher’s salary?
Cardinal: That is what seems to be the problem, Papi. The people of the world have finally realized that intelligence is preferable to servitude.
Pope: You’re boring me. Bring me a choir boy!